Well, that's over with...

Yup. I've officially finished the NYC Triathlon for the second time. Man, what a day it was too. It was really hot, the swim was what I've always envisioned the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain to be like, as I biked I wondered what Lance was doing a few times and at mile four of the run my legs felt like they were going to calcify. And I loved it. All of it.

Now it's over with and my week-long tunnel vision has opened up to all this "stuff" that I've been putting off to prep for the race. Mail, laundry, food shopping for anything other than PowerGel.

It's good to be back in the swing. And there is one thing I've enjoyed sticking with, my grateful list. Here it is:

1) Perseverance, Focus & Dedication

2) The guys at Metro Bikes

3) My inner iPod

4) Family & Friends

5) Supportive emails

6) NY pizza

7) Mud Pie ice cream

What are you grateful for today? Post a comment, share your list, start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Exactly The Same Only Different

Yesterday I wrote about the ever-expanding personal safe zone and how it will expand for as long as we try, do and incorporate new things in our lives. And how cool is that!? Every day we awaken to a new sunrise, we have a chance to "do it all again", only differently. And because of that, the newness of things keep flowing in to life.

As I train for my races, I swim the same laps, run & bike the same route and I even listen to the same playlist on my iPod. But today I swam faster because I changed the position of my head in the water, my run was more powerful because of all the hill training I did this past winter, my biking remains challenging, but my perception of how I'll do on race day has become different. For all of it I'm grateful. and I know that as long as I keep an attitude of humility rather than entitlement I will always make new discoveries, reach new heights and continue to "do it differently" each day the sun rises.

As promised, here's toady's Grateful List:

1) Going with my gut

2) Acknowledging my strengths

3) Acknowledging my areas that need strengthening

4) The O2 in my lungs

5) Down pillows

6) My wife's enthusiasm for life

7) My dog's hairy chin

How about you? What have you done differently today? What new discoveries have you made today? Post a comment and let me know.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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"The Safe Zone" conundrum

Committing to a gratitude list brought me to my blog each day. Since my seven day commitment ended, I've missed both the daily moments of reflection and the creative outlet of blogging. So I'm combining my commitment to a daily gratitude list with daily blog posts - just one of the things that keeps me rooted in myself.

Grateful list

1) A loving, supportive relationship with my wife
2) My many employment opportunities
3) The green grass in Ulster County
4) My legs
5) Air conditioning
6) Chilled fruit salad

Most of the time I do the comfortable things. I have this "routine" within my ever changing weekly schedule that I, on some level, rely on for sanity. This is basically it:

I wake up at whatever time my schedule requires me to, I feed & walk the dog. I wash & dry any dishes in the sink and then I make my coffee. While drinking it, I read the sports pages - Yankees in the Summer and the Giants & Patriots in the winter. For lunch I usually eat a sandwich with a piece on fruit. At day's end I enjoy watching The Deadliest Catch - something about the camaraderie on that show that is really compelling for me. There are some variations to the routine, but that's pretty much it.These are routines that I relish regardless of time, place or surroundings. They give me a sense of comfort, of familiarity in an otherwise changing world. It is my safe zone. It's mine.

As a coach, solopreneur and home based business owner I must always exercise effective time management skills. Part of that is a daily self-awareness check-in. I prioritize tasks, ask myself qualifying questions like who am I , where am I, where am I going, how will I get there, etc...At times, I think to myself that things in my life seem boring, stagnant or routine and I want to shake them up. I just got finished saying how I relish my routine within an ever changing schedule and now I go off and think that things are too routine. Hmmm...that's peculiar. I know intellectually that my life is not boring, stagnant or routine, but I still "feel" that way from time to time. This is commonplace and I'm sure you can relate to this as it pertains to your own life. There are many cause for this type of thinking. One cause is that inner "critic" or "saboteur" as I call it. It's never satisfied and always says there is something, anything better than what I, we, you are doing at any given moment. The saboteur is easily managed. It's nothing more than "an undigested piece of potato" as Ebeneezer Scrooge put it. A mere distraction that attempts to use worry, fear, hesitation and indecision to keep us from living a fulfilled life. There are a myriad ways to manage the saboteur. For practical, actionable examples sign up here http://ow.ly/2bqtv for a complimentary Visceral Coaching session and we can choose the best one for you.

Another way to look at it is, upon those moments of reflection, to realize that we have new experiences every day. And those new experiences lead us to even newer experiences, and so on. Each new experience then becomes familiar and we begin to expand our safe zone. Take a moment right now and answer this question:

What's one thing new in your life that you didn't think you could or would do 365 days ago? Take into account the journey this new thing in your life has taken, from new to familiar.

This is a perfect example of you expanding your life, incorporating that which you thought you could not do into something you can do, and do well. A year ago I didn't think I could understand or participate in Twitter. Now I tweet with proficiency. Check it out http://twitter.com/VisceralCoach Three years ago I didn't think I could participate in endurance racing, today I have one marathon, and two triathlons under my belt with two half marathons coming up. So the conundrum is to focus my, your, our awareness on what new things have most recently become familiar, allow self-recognition and continue forward.

What did you come up with as the answer to the question above? What the next new thing on the horizon that will further expand your Safe Zone? Post a comment and let me know.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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My Head Is A Gyroscope.

Dictionary.com defines Gyroscope like this:

an apparatus consisting of a rotating wheel so mounted that itsaxis can turn freely in certain or all directions, and capable ofmaintaining the same absolute direction in space in spite ofmovements of the mountings and surrounding parts: used tomaintain equilibrium, determine direction, etc.

Yes. That's how my head feels right now. My body is the "fixed position" and my head is freely rotating in all directions. I am able to "maintain equilibrium", so I have that going for me.

This is all due to choice. I'm blessed with the ability to choose - a luxury problem indeed. That said, it still feels like my head is spinning at planetary velocity.The other day I petitioned the Time Gods to extend the day to twenty-six hours to see if that would help, but they didn't go for it. Today, rather that trying to alter the space-time continuum, I will pause...

There. That's better. In the pause I picture pulling apart this moment-to-moment day to experience a brief period in time in slow motion. I breathe, deep. In the slow-mo I remember that 1) This is exactly what I've been wanting and 2) I'm getting what I want.

Wow! That's pretty cool. In just a few paragraphs I've gone from feeling like my head is spinning like a top to slow motion gratitude. I am calm now. Ahhhh...

Perfect time to write my Grateful list. Once again I missed posting it yesterday, so here it is:

Grateful list 7/1/10

1) Internet banking

2) The weather!

3) Fluff reading

4) Connecting with old friends

5) Oreos dunked in coffee

Grateful list 7/2/10

1) As stated above, the ability to choose.

2) My father

3) Freedom to express

4) The summer wind blowing through my office

5) New day, new possibilities

Share your Gratitude in the comments box. Try it. See how it can positively effect your day. Start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Petition To Make a Day Twenty-Six Hours. And Two Grateful Lists

Yesterday I began the day feeding carrots to my neighbors horses. ...Ahhh... Then I spent three hours hurdling through space & time on I-87 South. By late afternoon I was haunted by a Yoko Ono art installation at MOMA. At about nine-thirty I realized my "relax" to "doing" ratio was all out of whack. So I put my rump on the couch for the rest of the night. After my first round a channel surfing I then realized that I hadn't even thought about gratitude or my seven day Grateful list call-to-action. So here it is a day later. I'm more centered, relaxed and able to breathe. And I'll double up on my list; one for yesterday and one for today. Check it out:

Grateful list 6/29/10

1) Memory

2) Fresh coffee

3) 100.1 WDST, Woodstock Radio - Awesome!

4) Seeing things through

5) Humility

6) Blue Jays in the trees

7) Opportunity

8) The Ironies in life

Grateful list 6/30/10

1) Mangos

2) Spontaneous dancing to Caribbean music

3) Reflection

4) Action/adventure movie trailers

5) Anticipation

6) Stretching

Want to hop on the gratitude train? It's a smooth ride to daily fulfillment & positivity. We make all local stops, there's frequent service and no delays. Boarding passes are free, just answer the following question:

What are you grateful for today? Post a comment. Share your list. Start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Grateful list 6/28/10

This is day three of my commitment to be consciously grateful of things, any things in my life. Today I noticed a little shift in the way I address people in my day's interactions. Here's a few examples: I had lovely exchange with the town Assessor. She even offered to help me fill out the Energy Star form to reduce our property tax - a wonderful surprise. I had a great exchange with the water service guy who came to do the yearly service our water softener. He even gave me a break on the bill. And I just had a very positive and silly conversation with the woman behind the counter at our local coffee house. We talked about yoga, boxing and grade school. Usually I would have been "all business" with the town assessor, sort of curt and hurried with the water service guy and aloof with the coffee house woman. But it seems my recent focus on gratitude and positivity has made a difference already!
So without further delay...Here's my grateful list for today, June 28Th, 2010:

1) The kindness of The Saugerties Town Assessor
2) The patience of Bob at American Aqua Services
3) Inquiring Minds Bookstore & Cafe
4) Copper ceilings
5) New neighbors
6) The enchanted forest that's just outside our driveway! I saw 2 deer, 1 hare, 3 chickens, 2 horses & 1 angry German Shepard.
7) Late afternoon sunshine

What are you grateful for today? Post a comment. Share your list. Start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Grateful List 6/27/10

Thanks Kaye George for commenting on yesterday's post. Kaye is the author of When I am Grateful. Here's link to her website, http://wheniamgrateful.com/. Spread the word about gratitude!

Here's my list for today, Sunday 6/27/10
1) Freshly folded laundry
2) Kind neighbors
3) My iPod
4) Tonight's sunset
5) True friends
6) My feet!
7) My loving wife's beautiful blue eyes.

So I went past 5. All well, the more the merrier. What's on your grateful list? Join the Visceral Coaching Social Networking Initiative and post your grateful list in the comments section. Share your gratitude and see how it effects your attitude and the attitude of those around you.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Grateful List 6/26/10

As part of a new Visceral Coaching Social Networking Initiative, I'm consciously choosing to have a positive and grateful attitude towards life. A simple step towards doing this is to write a quick gratitude list; 5 things I'm grateful for today. I'm posting on Twitter and Facebook and I want you to too. As stated in my earlier posts, I'm doing a 7 day commitment to focus on all that I'm grateful for. Here's day one:

Today I'm grateful for...

1) Deep full breaths
2) Coffee house music
3) The power of choice
4) Old friends
5) Veggie Omelets

And you? What are you grateful for today? Post your list in the comments section. Share your gratitude and see how it effects your attitude and the attitude of those around you.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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What are you grateful for today?

This question is simple and yet, somehow elusive. How easy is it to slip into the "I'm not getting what I want or need out of life" attitude. Answering this question on a daily basis can have an everlasting positive effect on life's day to day circumstances.

Here's a great way to keep the dulldrums away by maintaining an attitude of gratitude.

Try this exercise for 7 days and see how it positively impacts your life:

Write down 5 things you are grateful for in your life today. Do the same tomorrow as well. It's okay if one or two things appear on the list each day. But also add new things. If you get in the flow and want to put more than 5 things down, go for it. No need to edit yourself!

I work on this with my Visceral Coaching clients all the time. It's an empowering and resourceful way to refocus on what is working in life rather that what isn't.

What am I grateful for today? Here's my list:

1) Full deep breaths

2) Fresh peanut butter & bananas

3) A happy marriage

4) Early summer rain

5) Freedom to express

It's that simple. Post your list in the comments box below. Share your positive attitude with me and those around you. See the difference it will make.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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The Art of Listening

Become aware of your surroundings and pay attention to your listening. Is your listening active or inactive?

In my very first professional acting class I was told to make the other person more important. Simply stated, It's my job to listen and react to my partner under the given circumstances of a script as if for the first time, every time. As a coach, I'm trained to listen; listen to what's going on with my clients, mind, body and soul.
I do this by employing a few different levels of awareness when I'm listening. You can do this too. In business meetings, with your employees, team members, vendors & clients. With your friends, family, significant other and children.

Here's a breakdown of the levels of listening awareness:

First, there's a geocentric type of listening whereby we relate what the other person is saying by thinking & saying what we did when whatever they're talking about "happened to us". This kind of listening keeps the focus on the listener rather than the one who is being listened to. This type of listening has a short reach that only serves to keep the focus on the one's self. This is never a great place to listen from when a person needs to work in teams or partnerships

Second is an acute & direct form of listening that holds sharp attention to what the other person is saying. Attention is 100% over there; eyes locked, aware of what is being said. Attention is being paid. This a great for one-to-one interpersonal skills, problem solving and short time frame discussions where information needs to be disseminated.

Third is an environmental type of listening. One listens to the other and incorporates the space around them into the listening process. Examples are, listening for things that are said or not said, drawing awareness to the emphasis on words or phrases, self editing, pauses, emotional reactions, focus of the eyes, interruptions in the conversation. This is a deeper level of listening. It allows us to listen not only with our ears & brains, but our hearts and bodies as well. A wealth of information is accessed when listening from this deep place. This level of awareness also sparks a persons intuition or gut reactions to things.

These levels of listening awareness are always available to us whatever our profession, life circumstance, mood, disposition or objective. I invite you to direct your attention to your listening skills. Use these techniques in your business and your life and see if anything changes as a result. Post a comment, let me know how it went.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Nine Steps To Regain Focus & Direction

As an Empowerment Coach, I have the opportunity to come into contact with people who know on an intuitive level that there is some thing more that they need to be doing in their lives; a desire to play a bigger game. That desire is communicated to me is so many different ways. The choice of words are different, the ideas for action are different and the types of commitment are different, but the spirit of the desire remains the same. Often there exists some confusion or hesitation about where a person is and what the next step is to move forward in an empowering, resourceful way. To assist is regaining focus & direction in ones life I use the following nine steps. This is done as directed form of stream of consciousness writing:

1) Who am I? - A short question that asks us to take an inward look. Name, Family, Origin, belief systems, values, assumption, agenda. No editing!

2) What time is it? - Time of day, week, month, quarter, year, decade, millennium. What moment are you in? Get present.

3) Where Am I? - Physically, spiritually, emotionally. Be detailed.

4) What surrounds me? - See, smell, hear, touch & taste your immediate & ancillary surroundings. Write it all down.

5) What are my Circumstances? - What brought to the place you are in right now? Are you at work, home, on vacation, on the bus? Happy, sad, indifferent? Where did you just come from? Where are you going to?

6) What Is My Relationship? - To yourself, those immediately around you, your friends, family, spouse, co-workers, acquaintances, enemies, neighbors, etc...

7) What Do I Want? - Another short & deep question. What is your desired focus? Be detailed!

8) What's In My Way (of getting what I want) - What are the hurdles for you to jump? Name them. Are they "out there"? "In here"?

9) What Do I Do To Get What I Want? - Time for action. Be specific. Choose a direction. Claim your commitments & go!

The nine steps are there for a person to take a "snap-shot, cross-section" of who, what & where they truly are in a given moment. From there they can take the next empowering, resourceful step to fulfilling their day-to- day life. I Invite you to try this out with yourself or your clients. Post a comment and let me know how it goes.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

Visceral Coaching

robert@visceralcoaching.com

Top 10 Cool & Groovy Things To Do This Summer

It's a well known fact that we live longer healthier lives when we are laughing, relaxed and content.These are all qualities of Summer. So even though summer is technically still about a month away, It's good to get a jump on the top 10 cool & groovy things to do this summer. Whether you're a beach bum or a land lubber, this list has something for you to stay in the calm & relaxed mindset of Summer.

1) Eat a tomato like an apple. - Make sure it's a ripe one and don't forget the napkin.

2) Watch the sunrise over the Ocean. - Grab a special friend & watch as the sky turns night-blue to pink to azure to yellow to daylight all in 60-90 minutes
3) Ride a Ferris wheel. - Take in the atmosphere of a carnival from the highest point
4) Body surf. - It's all in the timing & wave choice, but you know you got it right when you end up on the sand with a mouth full of sea foam!
5) Watch an awesome fireworks display from a comfy locale. - Bring the digital camera to snap images for year long Ooo's & Ahhh's
6) Go to a baseball game. Hey, they don't call it our national past time for nothin'. Any game, any level of sport.
7) Eat a hot dog - guilt free. Moderation is key here, but indulge for a night.
8) Go camping, make a campfire - Step away from the iThing for the weekend, become one with nature & gaze into the dancing flames. (The campfire app will be waiting for you on Monday morning)
9) Read the Sunday paper cover to cover then take a nap in the shade. - 'Nuf said.
10) Host or attend a BBQ with great food and great friends. - No special occasion needed. Make memories.

If you can sail through this list in a few weeks then recycle through them again! Do you have a list of your own? Post a comment. Let me know.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

Visceral Coaching

robert@visceralcoaching.com

Get What You Want

We all want something. Always. And we all want someone to do things for us. This is not selfish, dishonest or manipulative. This is life & business. Examples: managers present incentives for their sales force to make their numbers, parents offer rewards for their children for good behavior, dog owners dangle a treat to recall their dogs. In any situation involving human interaction; simple or complex; personal, professional or otherwise there exists three basic principals.

1) An objective (That "thing" that a person wants)

2) An obstacle (That "thing" in the way of getting what a person wants)

3) An action (That thing to "do" to get what a person wants, i.e. overcome the obstacle)

Here's a very simple step-by-step breakdown of how you get clarity on what you want, stay focused on it and jump the hurdles along the way. This is great for problem solving, managerial skills & interpersonal issues in the workplace as well.

1) Objective:

Ask yourself the following question. What do I want? Get a promotion? Communicate more effectively? Start a family? loose weight? What ever it is, be specific and write it down.

2)Obstacle:

Ask yourself the following question. What's in the way of getting what I want?

Often times the famous Pogo comic strip quote, "We have met the enemy and he is us" applies here. Take an inventory of whatever is in your way. Again, get specific about it. Name it. Write it down.

3) Action

Ask yourself the following question. What will I do to get what I want?

Given the presupposition that we are all acting within the moral, ethical and legal confines of our global society, what is the most resourceful action for you to take to overcome the obstacle in your way from achieving your objective? How much of it is within your power to change? How much of it do you need to rely on others to change? Specificity is important here. Name it.

Armed with these three specific questions and answers, you will be able to achieve and progress in any interpersonal interaction. The truth is, we all answer these questions in nano-seconds hundreds and hundreds of times a day, everyday of our lives. This three step process is designed to put the process in super slow-motion and allow you the time to be conscious of how to effectively get to the next level of your life. You handle the specifics, i.e. career, money, health, friends & family, personal growth, recreation, physical environment. Just plug in the issue to the algorithm and strap yourself in for a speedy trip to the next level.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

www.visceralcoaching.com

Tips on maintaining focus on your new years resolution

So its the end of January, the glitz of the New Years celebration has worn off for sure, the winter weather has moved in for a 3 month sublet and right about now is the time when we all get a little slippery with the resolutions we were so gung-ho about on New Years Day. If you're saying "Yes, that's me" and/or you find yourself wondering what exactly it was that you've resolved to change in 2010, here are 5 tips on how to give your resolutions a booster shot for lasting positive change.



1) Make it specific.

A resolution "to get more rest" is general and allows for too much wiggle room. Don't let yourself wiggle out of your commitment. Write down your resolution in it's most simple essential form. For example: I will go to bed at 9:30pm, 3 days a week for one month.





2) Put it in your calendar.

When do you want to achieve this resolution. In the example above, choose a specific day to begin and a specific day to end, then commit. If it's a "being-state" resolution - For example: you want to be nicer to your mother-in-law - then break it down to specific step by step actionable components that you can track. For example: I will call my mother-in-law once a week and ask, "how are you?" This is a simple actionable step that supports the larger resolution of wanting to be nicer to your mother-in-law.





3) Be held accountable to your resolution.

Tell someone - who is not a friend - that you want to achieve this resolution and ask them to help you with it. A co-worker, supervisor, employer, coach or mentor. It's important that it not be a friend because friends tend to let us slide when we get lazy or unspecific about our goals. A boss, supervisor, mentor or coach is more likely to hold you to what it is you say you want to do. Especially a coach. That's our job!





4) Make a resolution that you actually want to achieve.

Wanting it for yourself, working towards it, knowing that your quality of life will improve because of it will sustain you during times when you lack focus. So check your gut. Ask yourself what you truly want to resolve. Then commit to it.





5) Make it BIG for cryin' out loud!

You want to incorporate a resolution (change) in you life, so step boldly into it. Visualize yourself already doing/being that resolution. Allow yourself to feel what its like and claim it as yours. Personify who you will be once the resolution is achieved.
Here's a hint: It's OK if it's a little scary. That makes it exciting and it also expands the limits of who you think you are & what you can do. It's always more than what you think. Always.


Good luck! And know that we can all do & be what want by:

a) Claiming it

b) Committing to it

c) Achieving it

For more information on how to maintain focus on your New Years Resolutions, how to set clear resonant goals & achieve them go to http://www.visceralcoaching.com/



Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Empowerment Coach

http://www.visceralcoaching.com/