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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

What Does It All Mean?

So I'm coming home from the subway this afternoon. Beautiful day; I have my sunglasses on. This bug flys right onto my left lens and he's just sitting there. maybe he was wondering the same thing I was at that moment....."What the hell was that"?........So I take off my glasses to get the little bugger off. As he clung on to my finger, I saw it was one of those dwarf-like mini moth things.
I'm generally respectful of animal life (except roaches, mice, rats and the occasional bluefish or stripped bass) so I walk over to one of those tasteful Upper East Side Planters to give the little guy some indigenous surroundings. He kept crawling around my hand avoiding the inevitable departure. I wasn't in to playing host anymore. I kept presenting leaves and branches for him but he wouldn't leave. And I started to get all self conscious, what with being watched by the throngs of subway goers and Upper East Side personalities as they passed by me seemingly caressing a shrub.
Then I thought "Wait a minute". "Maybe this was meant to happen". "Maybe god in his infinite wisdom has orchestrated this tiny happenstance for me to see that in spite of all the complexities in my life there still exists simplicity". "Amid humanities greatest creations and achievements, still this earth provides life for a simple.....bug"
And then as I walked down the street with the little miracle cupped in my hand I thought ,"Here is this tiny life form living in the mayhem that is New York City. I mean this guy has no chance once he leaves Central Park". So in the scope of the universe I....we.....humanity... is equally insignificant. The power that each one of us has (which by the way is huge) is dwarfed by the power of a supernova or a black hole or even a tropical storm".
Maybe that was Gods intention. To illustrate to me by way of this tiny visitor that everything will even off at the end. Just forget about the eccentricities of other people. Don't worry about the details. Be in the moment. Be alive. Be happy darn it!!
I smiled. I gazed into my hand at the mini moth thing and wondered where I could deposit him. "Where would be the safest place?" "An honorable place to prolong the little buggers existance as much as possible".
Just then, with every ounce of spring-like energy that mother nature blessed him with, he shot up out of my hand, ricocheted off my front tooth and kamikaze-ed right down my throat. I was dumbfounded. What now? As I hobbled down my block, hacking from just swallowing a messenger from God. I thought "Maybe Freud was right. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar".
By the time I got in to my apartment I was a little put off that my ipod was running low on batteries.