VISCERAL BLOG

Well, that's over with...

2010-07-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

Yup. I've officially finished the NYC Triathlon for the second time. Man, what a day it was too. It was really hot, the swim was what I've always envisioned the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain to be like, as I biked I wondered what Lance was doing a few times and at mile four of the run my legs felt like they were going to calcify. And I loved it. All of it.

Now it's over with and my week-long tunnel vision has opened up to all this "stuff" that I've been putting off to prep for the race. Mail, laundry, food shopping for anything other than PowerGel.

It's good to be back in the swing. And there is one thing I've enjoyed sticking with, my grateful list. Here it is:

1) Perseverance, Focus & Dedication

2) The guys at Metro Bikes

3) My inner iPod

4) Family & Friends

5) Supportive emails

6) NY pizza

7) Mud Pie ice cream

What are you grateful for today? Post a comment, share your list, start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Exactly The Same Only Different

2010-07-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I wrote about the ever-expanding personal safe zone and how it will expand for as long as we try, do and incorporate new things in our lives. And how cool is that!? Every day we awaken to a new sunrise, we have a chance to "do it all again", only differently. And because of that, the newness of things keep flowing in to life.

As I train for my races, I swim the same laps, run & bike the same route and I even listen to the same playlist on my iPod. But today I swam faster because I changed the position of my head in the water, my run was more powerful because of all the hill training I did this past winter, my biking remains challenging, but my perception of how I'll do on race day has become different. For all of it I'm grateful. and I know that as long as I keep an attitude of humility rather than entitlement I will always make new discoveries, reach new heights and continue to "do it differently" each day the sun rises.

As promised, here's toady's Grateful List:

1) Going with my gut

2) Acknowledging my strengths

3) Acknowledging my areas that need strengthening

4) The O2 in my lungs

5) Down pillows

6) My wife's enthusiasm for life

7) My dog's hairy chin

How about you? What have you done differently today? What new discoveries have you made today? Post a comment and let me know.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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"The Safe Zone" conundrum

2010-07-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

Committing to a gratitude list brought me to my blog each day. Since my seven day commitment ended, I've missed both the daily moments of reflection and the creative outlet of blogging. So I'm combining my commitment to a daily gratitude list with daily blog posts - just one of the things that keeps me rooted in myself.

Grateful list

1) A loving, supportive relationship with my wife
2) My many employment opportunities
3) The green grass in Ulster County
4) My legs
5) Air conditioning
6) Chilled fruit salad

Most of the time I do the comfortable things. I have this "routine" within my ever changing weekly schedule that I, on some level, rely on for sanity. This is basically it:

I wake up at whatever time my schedule requires me to, I feed & walk the dog. I wash & dry any dishes in the sink and then I make my coffee. While drinking it, I read the sports pages - Yankees in the Summer and the Giants & Patriots in the winter. For lunch I usually eat a sandwich with a piece on fruit. At day's end I enjoy watching The Deadliest Catch - something about the camaraderie on that show that is really compelling for me. There are some variations to the routine, but that's pretty much it.These are routines that I relish regardless of time, place or surroundings. They give me a sense of comfort, of familiarity in an otherwise changing world. It is my safe zone. It's mine.

As a coach, solopreneur and home based business owner I must always exercise effective time management skills. Part of that is a daily self-awareness check-in. I prioritize tasks, ask myself qualifying questions like who am I , where am I, where am I going, how will I get there, etc...At times, I think to myself that things in my life seem boring, stagnant or routine and I want to shake them up. I just got finished saying how I relish my routine within an ever changing schedule and now I go off and think that things are too routine. Hmmm...that's peculiar. I know intellectually that my life is not boring, stagnant or routine, but I still "feel" that way from time to time. This is commonplace and I'm sure you can relate to this as it pertains to your own life. There are many cause for this type of thinking. One cause is that inner "critic" or "saboteur" as I call it. It's never satisfied and always says there is something, anything better than what I, we, you are doing at any given moment. The saboteur is easily managed. It's nothing more than "an undigested piece of potato" as Ebeneezer Scrooge put it. A mere distraction that attempts to use worry, fear, hesitation and indecision to keep us from living a fulfilled life. There are a myriad ways to manage the saboteur. For practical, actionable examples sign up here http://ow.ly/2bqtv for a complimentary Visceral Coaching session and we can choose the best one for you.

Another way to look at it is, upon those moments of reflection, to realize that we have new experiences every day. And those new experiences lead us to even newer experiences, and so on. Each new experience then becomes familiar and we begin to expand our safe zone. Take a moment right now and answer this question:

What's one thing new in your life that you didn't think you could or would do 365 days ago? Take into account the journey this new thing in your life has taken, from new to familiar.

This is a perfect example of you expanding your life, incorporating that which you thought you could not do into something you can do, and do well. A year ago I didn't think I could understand or participate in Twitter. Now I tweet with proficiency. Check it out http://twitter.com/VisceralCoach Three years ago I didn't think I could participate in endurance racing, today I have one marathon, and two triathlons under my belt with two half marathons coming up. So the conundrum is to focus my, your, our awareness on what new things have most recently become familiar, allow self-recognition and continue forward.

What did you come up with as the answer to the question above? What the next new thing on the horizon that will further expand your Safe Zone? Post a comment and let me know.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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My Head Is A Gyroscope.

2010-07-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

Dictionary.com defines Gyroscope like this:

an apparatus consisting of a rotating wheel so mounted that itsaxis can turn freely in certain or all directions, and capable ofmaintaining the same absolute direction in space in spite ofmovements of the mountings and surrounding parts: used tomaintain equilibrium, determine direction, etc.

Yes. That's how my head feels right now. My body is the "fixed position" and my head is freely rotating in all directions. I am able to "maintain equilibrium", so I have that going for me.

This is all due to choice. I'm blessed with the ability to choose - a luxury problem indeed. That said, it still feels like my head is spinning at planetary velocity.The other day I petitioned the Time Gods to extend the day to twenty-six hours to see if that would help, but they didn't go for it. Today, rather that trying to alter the space-time continuum, I will pause...

There. That's better. In the pause I picture pulling apart this moment-to-moment day to experience a brief period in time in slow motion. I breathe, deep. In the slow-mo I remember that 1) This is exactly what I've been wanting and 2) I'm getting what I want.

Wow! That's pretty cool. In just a few paragraphs I've gone from feeling like my head is spinning like a top to slow motion gratitude. I am calm now. Ahhhh...

Perfect time to write my Grateful list. Once again I missed posting it yesterday, so here it is:

Grateful list 7/1/10

1) Internet banking

2) The weather!

3) Fluff reading

4) Connecting with old friends

5) Oreos dunked in coffee

Grateful list 7/2/10

1) As stated above, the ability to choose.

2) My father

3) Freedom to express

4) The summer wind blowing through my office

5) New day, new possibilities

Share your Gratitude in the comments box. Try it. See how it can positively effect your day. Start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Petition To Make a Day Twenty-Six Hours. And Two Grateful Lists

2010-06-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I began the day feeding carrots to my neighbors horses. ...Ahhh... Then I spent three hours hurdling through space & time on I-87 South. By late afternoon I was haunted by a Yoko Ono art installation at MOMA. At about nine-thirty I realized my "relax" to "doing" ratio was all out of whack. So I put my rump on the couch for the rest of the night. After my first round a channel surfing I then realized that I hadn't even thought about gratitude or my seven day Grateful list call-to-action. So here it is a day later. I'm more centered, relaxed and able to breathe. And I'll double up on my list; one for yesterday and one for today. Check it out:

Grateful list 6/29/10

1) Memory

2) Fresh coffee

3) 100.1 WDST, Woodstock Radio - Awesome!

4) Seeing things through

5) Humility

6) Blue Jays in the trees

7) Opportunity

8) The Ironies in life

Grateful list 6/30/10

1) Mangos

2) Spontaneous dancing to Caribbean music

3) Reflection

4) Action/adventure movie trailers

5) Anticipation

6) Stretching

Want to hop on the gratitude train? It's a smooth ride to daily fulfillment & positivity. We make all local stops, there's frequent service and no delays. Boarding passes are free, just answer the following question:

What are you grateful for today? Post a comment. Share your list. Start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Grateful list 6/28/10

2010-06-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

This is day three of my commitment to be consciously grateful of things, any things in my life. Today I noticed a little shift in the way I address people in my day's interactions. Here's a few examples: I had lovely exchange with the town Assessor. She even offered to help me fill out the Energy Star form to reduce our property tax - a wonderful surprise. I had a great exchange with the water service guy who came to do the yearly service our water softener. He even gave me a break on the bill. And I just had a very positive and silly conversation with the woman behind the counter at our local coffee house. We talked about yoga, boxing and grade school. Usually I would have been "all business" with the town assessor, sort of curt and hurried with the water service guy and aloof with the coffee house woman. But it seems my recent focus on gratitude and positivity has made a difference already!
So without further delay...Here's my grateful list for today, June 28Th, 2010:

1) The kindness of The Saugerties Town Assessor
2) The patience of Bob at American Aqua Services
3) Inquiring Minds Bookstore & Cafe
4) Copper ceilings
5) New neighbors
6) The enchanted forest that's just outside our driveway! I saw 2 deer, 1 hare, 3 chickens, 2 horses & 1 angry German Shepard.
7) Late afternoon sunshine

What are you grateful for today? Post a comment. Share your list. Start a shift.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Grateful List 6/27/10

2010-06-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks Kaye George for commenting on yesterday's post. Kaye is the author of When I am Grateful. Here's link to her website, http://wheniamgrateful.com/. Spread the word about gratitude!

Here's my list for today, Sunday 6/27/10
1) Freshly folded laundry
2) Kind neighbors
3) My iPod
4) Tonight's sunset
5) True friends
6) My feet!
7) My loving wife's beautiful blue eyes.

So I went past 5. All well, the more the merrier. What's on your grateful list? Join the Visceral Coaching Social Networking Initiative and post your grateful list in the comments section. Share your gratitude and see how it effects your attitude and the attitude of those around you.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Grateful List 6/26/10

2010-06-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

As part of a new Visceral Coaching Social Networking Initiative, I'm consciously choosing to have a positive and grateful attitude towards life. A simple step towards doing this is to write a quick gratitude list; 5 things I'm grateful for today. I'm posting on Twitter and Facebook and I want you to too. As stated in my earlier posts, I'm doing a 7 day commitment to focus on all that I'm grateful for. Here's day one:

Today I'm grateful for...

1) Deep full breaths
2) Coffee house music
3) The power of choice
4) Old friends
5) Veggie Omelets

And you? What are you grateful for today? Post your list in the comments section. Share your gratitude and see how it effects your attitude and the attitude of those around you.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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What are you grateful for today?

2010-05-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

This question is simple and yet, somehow elusive. How easy is it to slip into the "I'm not getting what I want or need out of life" attitude. Answering this question on a daily basis can have an everlasting positive effect on life's day to day circumstances.

Here's a great way to keep the dulldrums away by maintaining an attitude of gratitude.

Try this exercise for 7 days and see how it positively impacts your life:

Write down 5 things you are grateful for in your life today. Do the same tomorrow as well. It's okay if one or two things appear on the list each day. But also add new things. If you get in the flow and want to put more than 5 things down, go for it. No need to edit yourself!

I work on this with my Visceral Coaching clients all the time. It's an empowering and resourceful way to refocus on what is working in life rather that what isn't.

What am I grateful for today? Here's my list:

1) Full deep breaths

2) Fresh peanut butter & bananas

3) A happy marriage

4) Early summer rain

5) Freedom to express

It's that simple. Post your list in the comments box below. Share your positive attitude with me and those around you. See the difference it will make.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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The Art of Listening

2010-05-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

Become aware of your surroundings and pay attention to your listening. Is your listening active or inactive?

In my very first professional acting class I was told to make the other person more important. Simply stated, It's my job to listen and react to my partner under the given circumstances of a script as if for the first time, every time. As a coach, I'm trained to listen; listen to what's going on with my clients, mind, body and soul.
I do this by employing a few different levels of awareness when I'm listening. You can do this too. In business meetings, with your employees, team members, vendors & clients. With your friends, family, significant other and children.

Here's a breakdown of the levels of listening awareness:

First, there's a geocentric type of listening whereby we relate what the other person is saying by thinking & saying what we did when whatever they're talking about "happened to us". This kind of listening keeps the focus on the listener rather than the one who is being listened to. This type of listening has a short reach that only serves to keep the focus on the one's self. This is never a great place to listen from when a person needs to work in teams or partnerships

Second is an acute & direct form of listening that holds sharp attention to what the other person is saying. Attention is 100% over there; eyes locked, aware of what is being said. Attention is being paid. This a great for one-to-one interpersonal skills, problem solving and short time frame discussions where information needs to be disseminated.

Third is an environmental type of listening. One listens to the other and incorporates the space around them into the listening process. Examples are, listening for things that are said or not said, drawing awareness to the emphasis on words or phrases, self editing, pauses, emotional reactions, focus of the eyes, interruptions in the conversation. This is a deeper level of listening. It allows us to listen not only with our ears & brains, but our hearts and bodies as well. A wealth of information is accessed when listening from this deep place. This level of awareness also sparks a persons intuition or gut reactions to things.

These levels of listening awareness are always available to us whatever our profession, life circumstance, mood, disposition or objective. I invite you to direct your attention to your listening skills. Use these techniques in your business and your life and see if anything changes as a result. Post a comment, let me know how it went.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC
Visceral Coaching
Certified Empowerment Coach
www.visceralcoaching.com

robert@visceralcoaching.com

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Nine Steps To Regain Focus & Direction

2010-05-04T13:12:00.000-07:00

As an Empowerment Coach, I have the opportunity to come into contact with people who know on an intuitive level that there is some thing more that they need to be doing in their lives; a desire to play a bigger game. That desire is communicated to me is so many different ways. The choice of words are different, the ideas for action are different and the types of commitment are different, but the spirit of the desire remains the same. Often there exists some confusion or hesitation about where a person is and what the next step is to move forward in an empowering, resourceful way. To assist is regaining focus & direction in ones life I use the following nine steps. This is done as directed form of stream of consciousness writing:

1) Who am I? - A short question that asks us to take an inward look. Name, Family, Origin, belief systems, values, assumption, agenda. No editing!

2) What time is it? - Time of day, week, month, quarter, year, decade, millennium. What moment are you in? Get present.

3) Where Am I? - Physically, spiritually, emotionally. Be detailed.

4) What surrounds me? - See, smell, hear, touch & taste your immediate & ancillary surroundings. Write it all down.

5) What are my Circumstances? - What brought to the place you are in right now? Are you at work, home, on vacation, on the bus? Happy, sad, indifferent? Where did you just come from? Where are you going to?

6) What Is My Relationship? - To yourself, those immediately around you, your friends, family, spouse, co-workers, acquaintances, enemies, neighbors, etc...

7) What Do I Want? - Another short & deep question. What is your desired focus? Be detailed!

8) What's In My Way (of getting what I want) - What are the hurdles for you to jump? Name them. Are they "out there"? "In here"?

9) What Do I Do To Get What I Want? - Time for action. Be specific. Choose a direction. Claim your commitments & go!

The nine steps are there for a person to take a "snap-shot, cross-section" of who, what & where they truly are in a given moment. From there they can take the next empowering, resourceful step to fulfilling their day-to- day life. I Invite you to try this out with yourself or your clients. Post a comment and let me know how it goes.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

Visceral Coaching

robert@visceralcoaching.com

Top 10 Cool & Groovy Things To Do This Summer

2010-05-04T12:12:00.000-07:00

It's a well known fact that we live longer healthier lives when we are laughing, relaxed and content.These are all qualities of Summer. So even though summer is technically still about a month away, It's good to get a jump on the top 10 cool & groovy things to do this summer. Whether you're a beach bum or a land lubber, this list has something for you to stay in the calm & relaxed mindset of Summer.

1) Eat a tomato like an apple. - Make sure it's a ripe one and don't forget the napkin.

2) Watch the sunrise over the Ocean. - Grab a special friend & watch as the sky turns night-blue to pink to azure to yellow to daylight all in 60-90 minutes
3) Ride a Ferris wheel. - Take in the atmosphere of a carnival from the highest point
4) Body surf. - It's all in the timing & wave choice, but you know you got it right when you end up on the sand with a mouth full of sea foam!
5) Watch an awesome fireworks display from a comfy locale. - Bring the digital camera to snap images for year long Ooo's & Ahhh's
6) Go to a baseball game. Hey, they don't call it our national past time for nothin'. Any game, any level of sport.
7) Eat a hot dog - guilt free. Moderation is key here, but indulge for a night.
8) Go camping, make a campfire - Step away from the iThing for the weekend, become one with nature & gaze into the dancing flames. (The campfire app will be waiting for you on Monday morning)
9) Read the Sunday paper cover to cover then take a nap in the shade. - 'Nuf said.
10) Host or attend a BBQ with great food and great friends. - No special occasion needed. Make memories.

If you can sail through this list in a few weeks then recycle through them again! Do you have a list of your own? Post a comment. Let me know.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

Visceral Coaching

robert@visceralcoaching.com

Get What You Want

2010-04-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

We all want something. Always. And we all want someone to do things for us. This is not selfish, dishonest or manipulative. This is life & business. Examples: managers present incentives for their sales force to make their numbers, parents offer rewards for their children for good behavior, dog owners dangle a treat to recall their dogs. In any situation involving human interaction; simple or complex; personal, professional or otherwise there exists three basic principals.

1) An objective (That "thing" that a person wants)

2) An obstacle (That "thing" in the way of getting what a person wants)

3) An action (That thing to "do" to get what a person wants, i.e. overcome the obstacle)

Here's a very simple step-by-step breakdown of how you get clarity on what you want, stay focused on it and jump the hurdles along the way. This is great for problem solving, managerial skills & interpersonal issues in the workplace as well.

1) Objective:

Ask yourself the following question. What do I want? Get a promotion? Communicate more effectively? Start a family? loose weight? What ever it is, be specific and write it down.

2)Obstacle:

Ask yourself the following question. What's in the way of getting what I want?

Often times the famous Pogo comic strip quote, "We have met the enemy and he is us" applies here. Take an inventory of whatever is in your way. Again, get specific about it. Name it. Write it down.

3) Action

Ask yourself the following question. What will I do to get what I want?

Given the presupposition that we are all acting within the moral, ethical and legal confines of our global society, what is the most resourceful action for you to take to overcome the obstacle in your way from achieving your objective? How much of it is within your power to change? How much of it do you need to rely on others to change? Specificity is important here. Name it.

Armed with these three specific questions and answers, you will be able to achieve and progress in any interpersonal interaction. The truth is, we all answer these questions in nano-seconds hundreds and hundreds of times a day, everyday of our lives. This three step process is designed to put the process in super slow-motion and allow you the time to be conscious of how to effectively get to the next level of your life. You handle the specifics, i.e. career, money, health, friends & family, personal growth, recreation, physical environment. Just plug in the issue to the algorithm and strap yourself in for a speedy trip to the next level.

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

www.visceralcoaching.com

Tips on maintaining focus on your new years resolution

2010-01-13T08:11:00.000-08:00

So its the end of January, the glitz of the New Years celebration has worn off for sure, the winter weather has moved in for a 3 month sublet and right about now is the time when we all get a little slippery with the resolutions we were so gung-ho about on New Years Day. If you're saying "Yes, that's me" and/or you find yourself wondering what exactly it was that you've resolved to change in 2010, here are 5 tips on how to give your resolutions a booster shot for lasting positive change.

1) Make it specific.

A resolution "to get more rest" is general and allows for too much wiggle room. Don't let yourself wiggle out of your commitment. Write down your resolution in it's most simple essential form. For example: I will go to bed at 9:30pm, 3 days a week for one month.

2) Put it in your calendar.

When do you want to achieve this resolution. In the example above, choose a specific day to begin and a specific day to end, then commit. If it's a "being-state" resolution - For example: you want to be nicer to your mother-in-law - then break it down to specific step by step actionable components that you can track. For example: I will call my mother-in-law once a week and ask, "how are you?" This is a simple actionable step that supports the larger resolution of wanting to be nicer to your mother-in-law.

3) Be held accountable to your resolution.

Tell someone - who is not a friend - that you want to achieve this resolution and ask them to help you with it. A co-worker, supervisor, employer, coach or mentor. It's important that it not be a friend because friends tend to let us slide when we get lazy or unspecific about our goals. A boss, supervisor, mentor or coach is more likely to hold you to what it is you say you want to do. Especially a coach. That's our job!

4) Make a resolution that you actually want to achieve.

Wanting it for yourself, working towards it, knowing that your quality of life will improve because of it will sustain you during times when you lack focus. So check your gut. Ask yourself what you truly want to resolve. Then commit to it.

5) Make it BIG for cryin' out loud!

You want to incorporate a resolution (change) in you life, so step boldly into it. Visualize yourself already doing/being that resolution. Allow yourself to feel what its like and claim it as yours. Personify who you will be once the resolution is achieved.
Here's a hint: It's OK if it's a little scary. That makes it exciting and it also expands the limits of who you think you are & what you can do. It's always more than what you think. Always.

Good luck! And know that we can all do & be what want by:

a) Claiming it

b) Committing to it

c) Achieving it

For more information on how to maintain focus on your New Years Resolutions, how to set clear resonant goals & achieve them go to http://www.visceralcoaching.com/

Robert Dioguardi, CPCC

Certified Empowerment Coach

http://www.visceralcoaching.com/

2010's Reinvention Rant

2009-12-17T05:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it's a New Year already. Time really does fly. I'll bet at some point during the holiday week/s you've looked at the dwindling December calendar and found yourself saying "where'd it all go? The month? The year? And oh my G-d, the decade!!" Yeah, the decade. Remember Y2K? That was the big concern for the beginning of the millennium. Guess it worked out okay. In the wake of graver problems however: 9/11, a war with two fronts, fear mongering, greed and economic collapse. And thankfully this decade comes to a close with more positive events: political history, hope and in the midst of it all - the opportunity to reinvent. Between you and me, I prefer the way this decade is going out to the way it came in.
Either way, for better or worse, we all went through it. All over the world. And we each have our own experiences attached to it. So now the December calendar has dwindled, the holidays have come & gone and the 2010's are underway.
So what's next? This a new beginning - a new year, a new decade, "new & different times". Sounds like the grumblings of a reinvention to me. And what an opportunity to begin again with a clean slate, to not compromise one's self, to consciously make powerful choices towards inner fulfillment. Hey, sign me up. I'm in.

So here's the Visceral Coaching question of the day.

What will you do to live a powerful uncompromising life in the 2010's?
You know what, I'll re frame - Asking about a decade-to-come might be a bit intimidating.
What will you do to live a powerful uncompromising life...starting today?

After all, today really is all we have. When we wake up tomorrow, it will be today. And the day after tomorrow? That will be today when it arrives. So that invites the same question. What will you do today? And today, and today, and today, to lead a powerful and uncompromising life. Broken down, it really is as simple as choosing to do it. Really. But when brought to the doorstep of making that choice is when we hesitate. This is about the time that our inner critic begins ratteling off the "reasons" that things aren't the way we really want them to be. Like for instance... "some thing happened yesterday that keeps us from being who we want to be or doing what we want to do today". Well, what's yesterday but a memory of the past. The memory of the dinosaurs are just as "real" as the memory of a lost job or the things left unsaid. They are not who/what we are, they are just memories - subjective memories at that. And here's a really good "reason": "The past makes us who we are today". Yeah, that's a good one. That one is practically impervious to large living. It's an excuse we use to serve up our responsibility for ourselves on a silver holiday platter to stay in a small dark comfortable box and maybe even blame others for our own smallness. Forget about yesterday. It's gone. It no longer exists. So to is the idea of who we thought we were.
And then there's tomorrow. The unknown. What will happen if..? Who will we be if..? What if..? Tomorrow is the juicy part of the reinvention equation. Remember, tomorrow is today in advance. Tomorrow will be the today where we have the chance to change, to reinvent. Today, right now to be specific, is special. Today we can wake up. Today is the day reinvention begins. Right now it begins. Right now.
That's my rant for the beginning of this decade. I ask that you keep me accountable for my own little corner of the reinvention movement. And I want to hold you accountable. So give it a shot. Start today. Do some thing differently today to get you one step closer to the kick ass life that you know you are able to lead. If you are already living life at a 10 out of 10, then take a moment to acknowledge yourself for busting your limits. And then see what you can do to go to 11, 12, 25 out of 10.
Visceral Coaching offers a structure to take you to 11 & beyond. check out the 30 Day Visceral Goals Intensive at http://www.visceralcoaching.com It all starts right now. Commit yourself, Achieve your goals, Create your future.

The moonlit sky

2009-11-28T18:39:00.000-08:00

I just walked outside with the dog. The sky is bright with the moon & stars. And the clouds are sweeping across the sky. I don't see the night sky too often in the middle of New York City. Out here in Ulster County it's large. And beautiful.

As I looked up, I was reminded, in a flash, of how wonderful the experience of life is. It moves so fast, seemly without any built in opportunity to reflect and feel grateful. I must create that time. The silence of the country has brought that on for me.

I am grateful for so much.

What time is it in China?

2009-08-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

So I'm getting back from a completely amazing vacation in Sweden. My wife and I are freshly recharged and have set clear, concise directions for the next few months, both professionally and personally. We get back, pick up the dog from the doggie farm in New Jersey - She swam in the ponds, ran free and collar-less with about a dozen other dogs of her breed, including a litter mate who keeps trying to mount her (not sure what that's about, but whatever). We get back to the apartment, flip through the mail, start to unpack and basically settle in to return to our "regularly scheduled programing".

In Sweden I was reading a business book that proposes some bold ideas on how to maximize my time. Time is, after all, money, right? Right. So I thought I'd put one of these bold ideas into practice.

On a tangential note, boldness is the topic of this weeks Visceral Quote of the Day. To start receiving them, click here http://www.visceralcoaching.com/vcregister.html Just check the box labeled Quote Of The Day.

Now this bold idea dealt with the sometimes touchy subject of overseas outsourcing. As in, to India. Bear in mind, I'm not making any decisions here. I'm simply doing some research. After all I'm a coach with a conscience. I'm aware of the social, political and economic impact of outsourcing. But I reiterate, I'm simply doing some research - a google here, a google there, you know.

So I come up with two companies where an enterprising businessman such as myself can, you know, outsource various business and personal tasks to a dedicated virtual assistant. The assistant is an actual person, so I don't really know where the "virtual" label applies. But either way, I continue my research. For both outsourcing companies, I needed to register an inquiry with my name and email address. A senior level consultant would then call me directly to discuss the intricacies of using their services.

"Ooooo" I thought. "Here I sit, just returning from a Scandinavian vacation, and now I get to be called from and perhaps do business with someone from India. That would make me an international businessman" ( I know, I gotta get out of my own way.)

So off I go to register. Full commitment. After a nano-second pause to think if I should use by business email or my junk email account, I go with my business email account. I am an international businessman and this is a matter of important business, so I had better represent my business, right? Right.

Awesome! The clear objectives Anna and I set for ourselves as we sat by the lapping water of the Baltic sea just one or two days before are being put into action right away. I get the automated thank you response from both VA companies and think nothing more about it. I'm off to do more business. Coaching, marketing, updating, you get it. As the first day of "Back from vacation" business draws to a close, I'm taken by how well it's going. After a bit of dinner, a check in with the Yankees, a "sit down" with Anna to recap our re-introduction to non-vacation life along with some other evening activities and then it's off to bed. G'night.

The next morning, I awake with the same amount of focus and energy. I'm looking forward to speaking with my potential new employee in India. After all, I am an international business man, right? Right. I go through the morning routine, sit at my desk in my home office, turn on the computer and log in to my email account - my business email account, that is. And what do I see? A strange and unusual message from China marked urgent to the CEO of Visceral Coaching.

"Ooooo" I thought. "Someone in China thinks I'm a CEO. How very international."

Well I am, aren't I?

I opened the message and it was very formal and business-like, the tone of which sounded something like this: (I'm paraphrasing of course.)

"There's a Chinese company who wants to buy domain names using your business name. Do you own the following list of domain names? ( List, blah, blah...) If so no problem, If not, you better buy 'em now or they will and your business will forever get confused with Asian conglomerates who have no intention of releasing you from their grip without a truckload or two of Chinese cash."

I sat back in my pseudo-reclinable international businessman chair and thought to myself,
"Hmmmm, Perhaps, just perhaps, I should have NOT put my business email address in the registration inquiry for these outsourcing companies after all. Perhaps, just perhaps, there is an unsecured electronic pathway in between New York City and Mumbai where a person or company could hack in and exploit small businesses that inquire about hiring an overseas VA!"

*Sigh*

Now what? I thought. This will put the brakes on my forward moving progress for sure. I need to do something about this.

"I'll pick up the phone to a business attorney I know. He'll help me to decipher this message. I thought "He's a real international businessman."

So I did. I called my friend and he snapped into action by deciphering the message and, as a friend, offered some clear feedback as to what my next step might be. We hung up the phone and I sat back again in the same pseudo-reclinable international businessman chair and thought,

"Oooooo...this is all very international. Here I am consulting with attorneys, talking to India, now China and vacationing in Scandinavia." ( I know, I know. I gotta get out of my own way.)

As I sit in my "North American" office, I cant help but realize that when ever I set a goal, I'm usually not able to see what kind of twists and turns the actions can take. So the moral of this particular story... Yes, it's important to set the goal, but it's also just as important to enjoy the international journey that takes you there.

The Power of Chioce: Recreate Your Brain.

2009-05-04T05:04:00.000-07:00

I recently read a New York Times article about how people can become "creatures of new habits" by consciously choosing their habits and daily actions. The article goes on to say that by making those choices we create new neuro pathways in the brain on a physiological level. It's the equivalent to cutting a new paths in a dense forest.
This has made me very curious about human behavior. All of those habits and actions in life that give us comfort and/or appease our psyches - Milk and cookies, Seinfeld re-runs, smoking, hitting the snooze bar, lost hours on Facebook - are in one form or another a manifestation of "mindless" habits. I've also realized that the battle of habit vs. making conscious choices in life is at the core of the Visceral Coaching 35 Day Balance and Goals Coaching Program. Clients who have gone through this program are asked to make a conscious choice to ignite positive change in their lives and in the process, create new paths for a better life.
Diet plans say it takes 28 days to loose weight, smoking cessation programs say it takes 30 days to break the physical addiction to tobacco. Marketing plans offer 30 day periods to acquire higher visibility and more business. The afore mentioned New York Times article claims that we can direct our own change by creating new habits thus creating new neuro pathways, gain a deeper consciousness and even create new brain cells! I have practical experience in the thirty days to change concept. It offers a strong foundation for a lasting positive change in a persons life. It worked in mine. So what about the extra five days? They are built in days off! Play days. Time off is just as important as time at work. That's a component of the Balance part of the program.
A component of the Goals part of the program is to set a S.M.A.R.T. goal, a goal that's Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Resonant & Thrilling. Put it in your calendar - make it real. For the next 35 days you will make commitments to achieve your goal, take daily actions to honor those commitments and begin to create new neuro pathways to carry you through your goal to a more effective life. My job as a certified empowerment coach is to motivate you on a daily basis to achieve your goal. We work on maintaining clarity of purpose, eliminating distractions, deepening the learning of where you are each day, and celebrating the victories found in the process of committing to your goal.
The Visceral Coaching 35 Day Balance and Goals Coaching Program is suited for highly motivated individuals who want to put more accountability in their lives. There are five coaching sessions, one a week, along with daily check-ins via phone or email to track the progress of your goal. I encourage you to commit to The Visceral Coaching 35 Day Balance and Goals Coaching Program, but if you are curious and want to try it out for yourself, begin by answering the following questions:
What goal do you want to achieve in the next thirty-five days?
What commitments will you make to achieve that goal?
What actions will you take (what new neuro pathways will you create?) on a daily basis to achieve your goal?
What paths are you willing to forge in order to achieve to the life you want for yourself?
What are you willing to do to make a bold, positive change for yourself?

Balance & Goals

2009-03-04T15:32:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhh….February is gone. The first day of spring is steadily approaching. And what a complement it will be to a snowy, blustery winter. It reminds me of the need to strike a balance between ourselves and the changing environment. I am a warm weather person and Anna, my wife, is a cold weather person. We enjoy opposite seasons and through each others enthusiasm for them, we strike an energy balance in each others lives. In the middle of February, with the temperature in single digits, Anna will sit up in the morning, take a deep breath and give me that “Isn’t-it-a-wonderful-day?” look. I usually pull the covers over my head to get the extra seven minutes of snooze time before the alarm goes off again. In August, when the sun is at its warmest, I don’t even need the alarm clock. My mind and body gets up and gently taps me on the shoulder to say “rise and shine”. I turn around to look at Anna with the same “Isn’t-it-a-wonderful-day?” look, only to be met with a grunt.

Now, don’t get me wrong, in the winter I can be found enjoying long walks in the snow with Anna and our dog Luna, or doing a bit of cross-country skiing - Swedish style - as I did over the Christmas holiday. Ans during the summer months, Anna can be found playing beach volleyball, beach-combing or diving through the waves of the ocean right next to me. What’s great about that is neither one of us would have even thought of partaking in each others’ activities had we not met and been willing to strike the balance that co-exists between us. It’s that balance that allows us to both advance and learn in our lives. In the balance we gain clarity to focus on our goals and aspirations.

The symbolism of spring – the rebirth, the rejuvenation of ones self is a powerful tool to harness.

What does this transition of seasons present for you?

Take a moment to check in with what’s in or out of balance in your life.
Mother Nature will be rebalancing her scales soon, what would it be like for you to do the same? To take stock in your goals and get clarity on the direction you’re heading? To rebalance your habits & behaviors so they get you where you want to go? To change….yup to change; to be conscious of purpose.
Visceral Coaching will give you clarity,balance and purpose so you can achieve your goals. Check out www.visceralcoaching.com for more details on private one on one coaching, group coaching and a the five week Balance & Goals Coaching Program.

Bush, AIG, Lynch, Lehman, Madoff & the sub-prime players, thanks for your service.

2009-01-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

That's right. Thanks for your service. You have done a priceless service to your country. Hey, it's tough out there right? Anyone with an iPhone, Blackberry, or a cathode ray tube can see that we're being told it's tough out there. I saw a headline this morning suggesting an eight trillion dollar bailout. Sure, why not. Eight trillion, I think that's the 2009 salary cap for The New York Yankees too.

Well, be that as it may. However the world at large frames our current economic, social or political climate, I say it's all a matter of perspective. I'll even go as far as saying we're in a good place. Yeah, good. Because there's value here. As an Empowerment Coach, it's my job to hold this space. The uncomfortable, dark, murky, embarrassing, smelly places just as much as the joyful, elated, bright, shiny psyched up places. It's all a part of the process of life. Take a look to see what juicy nuggets can be gleamed from within:

Billion dollar ponzi schemes, Two American wars, Cronyism in the white house, prisoner torture, unconstitutional eavesdropping, overextended mortgage lending, golden parachutes, national debt in the trillions, a besmirched reputation as a global superpower. That's not all of it, but it's a good chunk.

Who have we become as a society when we support the reward system of extending credit to people who aren't eligible for it in the first place?
Who are we as individuals who either facilitated the giving or receiving of that credit?
Who are we to place material gain ahead of principals?
What good can come from all of this?
Were is the learning in all of this?

Now, as a Coach, I feel the state of reflection that people are in these days. I hear it on the streets of New York. I speak to it in my coaching sessions. My phone is ringing now more than ever. The people I speak with see this time as an opportunity to change. To explore their core values, to acquire inner fulfilment, to seek help with a project. This place of self reflection, or self assessment is golden. This "climate" is ripe for a gut check for the soul.
There's the good.
There's the learning.

On Tuesday, December 3rd, I read an article in The New York Times about Bernard L. Madoff and his ties to Yeshiva University. What drew me to the article was a quote printed in bold italics. The quote and a link to the article is below.

" In elevating to a level of demiworship people with big bucks, we have been destroying the values of our future generation. We need a total rethinking of who the heroes are, who the role models are, who we should be honoring."
- Rabbi Benjamin Blech, professor of philosophy of law, on the downfall of Bernard Madoff

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/23/nyregion/23yeshiva.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=betrayed%20by%20madoff&st=cse

Rabbi Blech called it, alright. There's a man who is in a state of reflection. He is looking inward to deepen the learning of himself and working to influence, in a positive way, those whose lives he touches. And here we are. The New Year. A new beginning. This is an opportunity provided by the uber elite who have fallen from grace. An opportunity to check our guts, to take stock in what we're made of, to roll up our sleeves are recreate ourselves for ourselves. This is a great place.
Thanks Bernie...

The Healing Properties Of Facebook

2009-01-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

Okay. So I'm forty years old, married, and I'm an enthusiastic participant on Facebook. I'm comfortable with that, really I am. I do admit however, I was somewhat reluctant to venture into this particular corner of cyberspace. "I mean, aren't those sort of sites for kids?" I said to myself. After all, I'm forty years old and I'm married.Well it took a while after creating my account to get acquainted with how the whole site worked, then the think tank at Facebook decided to change the format that I had just gotten used to. That's a whole other issue. I'm not going there right now. Maybe later. Maybe. Either way, I figured out the new format and I began to navigate around the site to acquire friends. That's what you do on Facebook, make friends.

Thing about that is, to date, I've made over two hundred friends. Some of them are people with whom I'm actually friends with now. Like, as in, currently and in three dimensions. You know, we meet in a diner or at a movie, shake hands, say hi, look each other in the eyes, celebrate birthdays, go fishing, generally hang out, those sort of three dimensions.

Some on my two hundred plus friends are people with whom I've never met. Friends of friends. And that's really cool. I get to meet new people in other countries like Mexico, Canada, Australia (It's a continent, I know), Spain, New Jersey. We can send messages and pictures of ourselves and our mutual friends and kind of tell how our mutual friends' lives touches our lives. "Oh, you know so-and-so from college." "I know so-and-so from work". That sort of thing.

Here's the kicker. Most of my two hundred plus friends are people who I have either met, known or befriended over the course of my forty years of existence on this planet. (Yup, forty. I'm comfortable with that.) The "overwhelm" from all of that kind of crept up on me. In the beginning, it was fun to reconnect with some of my friends in college, then it was a little heavy connecting with my best friends in high school, then it was kinda weird befriending my whole high school class. After that it was time-warpy rediscovering my close friends in jr. high school, then it became a little much hooking up with my whole jr. high school class, then (just yesterday) I was sought out by the guys I hung out with on a teen tour in nineteen-eighty-something. That required me to pause. "Whoa" I thought to myself. ( If you don't know what a teen tour is, just think of it as a 2 month bus ride around the country, as a teenager). Then - and I claim full responsibility for this - I sought out the very first object of my pre-pubescent desire. A cute-as-a button girl, who shall remain nameless to protect her whereabouts, who was my first kiss - my first kiss! (my wife's okay with that, by the way). I needed to walk away from Facebook for a good two weeks after that one.

With each friend acquired, and each area of my life that I conveniently and/or unconsciously compartmentalized, came the pictures. All sorts of pictures. Class pictures - in black & white!, school hallway pictures, college party pictures, and finally the piece de resistance, a picture of me and my afore mentioned first kiss in like nineteen-seventy-blah-blah with my lanky arm around her cute-as-a-button shoulders. We were about eleven years old. It looked like the wardrobe department for That 70's Show exploded all over us.

I've gone about as far back as my memory, and modern photography, can go to literally trace together the different phases of my life. And it all rushes back to me when ever I log in to my account. And you know what? It's all good.

I can look back on my life and see how I've recorded it, how lucky I am to have my family and friends. I can see how my friends have recorded their lives, where they have been, who they are now with, the families they have created and as I do I can see how I had been a part of their lives, who I was when I knew them, who I was when we lost touch and who I am now after we've re-established contact. and I can sincerely say that I've had an outstanding forty years on this planet. (Yup, I'm forty and I'm comfortable with that). All of those forgotten places and forgotten faces are now just a few click away.

It's because of Facebook that I'm able to see the single moments of my whole life strung together and displayed in pixels and wall posts on my computer. My Facebook page is the tableau of my life. And I really like what I see.

buzz words...buzz jobs...buzz off!

2008-05-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

Well it happened. Just the other day. I was sitting in the Whole Foods at the Time Warner Center. I was minding my own business, reading the paper, enjoying my freshly brewed cup of coffee and my eyes began to wander - as they sometimes do in this visual landscape that we call New York City. I noticed a shopper with the trademark Whole Foods brown paper bag. My subconscious read the message printed on the side. I heard it out loud....only in my head... "Our Core Values", it read. I sorta stuck on that for a beat. "Our Core Values"...."that sounds vaguely familiar" I said to myself...only in my head..."Our Core Values, Our Core Values. Hmmm, why does that ring a bell"...myself said....Wait a minute. Core Values? It rings a bell 'cause that's what I do for a living. I help my clients identify and honor their Core Values. "That's valuable stuff I said"...only in my head...What the heck is that doing printed on a shopping bag? Have we, as a society, completely bastardized the whole concept of "values" that it just appears as a catch phrase on a grocery bag? Is the term "Core Values" pulverizing our senses so much that we've become desensitized to what the heck that bloody term really means!? Hey. Don't get me wrong. I happen to like Whole Foods just as much as the next guy....for food....good food. I don't go there shopping for values though...core values, food values (they don't call it Whole Paycheck for nothing) or otherwise. Imagine going down the produce isle and right next to the organic eggplant is a bushel of honesty or a bundle of creativity. I can see it now. The throngs of New Yorkers elbowing each other to get the reddest expressiveness, or the softest compassion. I mean c'mon here people. What I do here at Visceral Coaching is precious work. I work with my clients to dig down below the surface to unearth what highly personal tenants in life they choose to live by. These tenants, ie: values, are threads that intertwine together to make up the very fabric of who they are and why they do what they do. Life is not a marketing campaign, ya know.

When I'm asked by people what it is I do for a living I tell them I'm an Empowerment Coach. Sometimes, the person who asks cocks their head slightly - y'know like the RCA dog. I also get "Oh a coach, good for you", or my favorite..."What qualifies you to be a coach?"
Reasonable question.
It seems that just about anyone with a crooked number of decades on this earth figures that it's enough to call themselves a coach. There certainly are a lot of us out there, that's for sure. I can't speak for everyone, so I won't. What qualifies me to be a coach?
To put it succinctly - I see BS.
People...a lot of people are full of BS. Myself included. That's why I have a coach. He calls me out what I'm slinging it.
So as a coach, I say "Cut the BS."
I ask, "What do you really want?"
"And what are you willing to do to have what you really want?"
"Pitch the rest of it like the garbage that it is and get on with it."
This, simply and for real, is what my clients and I work on. What else is there anyway?...
Now I've spent many a day befuddled by what my place is in this world, who I am, what my voice is, my purpose, all of that...Today, I'm on the other side. I found my place, my voice, my home. I went straight through it, like a fullback over the center on 4th & goal...So that's what qualifies me.
So, life isn't unfolding the way you expected it to? Unhappy at work? At home? On the subway?
Well, whats the "Core Value" that's not being honored that makes you unhappy?
Dig in there and find it.
You don't need twenty years of therapy to figure that one out.....No you don't!
Is it enough to, as Thoreau put it, "...lead lives of quiet desperation." Is that good enough!? There's a two letter answer for that question. N-O.
Cut the BS.
Dig, if that's what in necessary.
Find your Core Values - they're not on a shopping bag, by the way.
Claim your space on this planet.
Make your mark and L-I-V-E!

Any questions - here's my number: (646) 736 7572

Home for the soul

2008-04-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

I put my feet into the Pacific Ocean last week. As that first tiny wash of salt water ran over my winterized, sweat sock laden feet, I couldn't help but but breath out. It was a deep breath that began at my intestines and ended at my tear ducts. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been at water’s edge.
A day later I went all the way in. I think I was the only one in there over the age of 35. It didn't matter. I was leaving later that night and I didn't know when I'd be back. I needed to at least squat until a wave broke over my head. I got up the gumption to dive through a few waves. It was just as I remembered it to be. Peaceful, weightless, innocent, other worldly and cold - shrinkage cold. That didn't matter either. As I was submerged, my soul took a deep breath. I was home. It had been so long. Too long.
Later that day when I was packing for the red eye back...home. I could feel the salt from the water clinging to my skin as it rubbed against my clothes. I decided not to shower. I wanted to bring the pacific back east. When I walked through the doorway to my apartment I thought about showering. I napped instead. I enjoyed being cradled by what remained of The Pacific.

Phone Cam Art

2007-12-05T17:47:00.000-08:00

Got a new phone recently. Dropped my first one in a toilet. It dried out but the camera was fried. I lived with it for a while until our dog, Luna, bit into the keyboard. The phone was perpetually calling the first contact on my contact list. And whenever I hung up the phone after saying sorry.........again, it would type the letter "p". Can't really work around that. So I got a new one from the insurance company. WELL worth the five bucks a month.

My new phone has a camera. I commited to using it more. These are some of my PHONE CAM ART shots of the city. Enjoy....

The exciting misadventures of Skeptical Man!

2007-09-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

Welcome ladies and Gentleman to our latest installment of Skeptical Man. When we last saw Skeptical Man he was trying to compose a letter to the various US credit bureaus in hopes of clearing his besmirched credit history. After two drafts Skeptical Man still can't quite phrase things the way he'd like. Perhaps you can help him. After lengthy discussions and a written contract stating this information will not be used against him now and/or in perpetuity, we've arranged to show you - our viewing audience Skeptical Man's latest draft to the US credit bureaus. He is "somewhat willing" to accept your feedback on how to improve this letter. Please help Skeptical Man. It reads as follows:

Dear Credit Bureaus,

You guys screwed up on my credit report. I paid off that tax lien when I was supposed to, sorta. By the way, I know you guys are in cahoots the state to keep me down. Actually, I can't wait for the day when I can finally tell you guys where to get off. I can't do that now, so please take off those bogus charges on my report. I put some other papers in this envelope I'm sending you to prove to you that I'm not the deadbeat that you think I am. If you gotta call or write to me, my information is on this letter. Don't call my cell phone 'cause I'm outta minutes. That reminds me, I gotta write the cell phone people a letter too - give 'em a piece of my mind. Anyway, that's about it. Oh, don't sell my information to anybody unless you gimme my cut. Thanks for your time, I guess.

Skeptical Man.

Stay tuned for our next installment of Skeptical man when he battles the forces of the New York City Transit Authority.

September 11th

2007-09-11T06:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a few months since my last blog post. Things are busy. Life is good. Anna and I just watched the NY1 coverage of the WTC memorial........What to say. All appropriate emotions were present. Today, six years ago, Anna and I sat at a table in the Equinox fitness club on 19th street (where I was working) watching the events of the day unfold. She had made her way uptown from Bank Street in the West Village with thousands of other New Yorkers heading north. After the queasy feeling of not knowing where she was for the first few hours of that morning, we stayed at the gym for a while, watching it transform from a high end "club" to a temporary stopping point for people to sit, check in with the TV, shower off the dust, or try to contact family. Our life pivoted that morning, as did all of ours. I remembered that my brother-in-law was scheduled to come in to New York from Boston either by train or plane.
"What time?" I asked the night before.
"Early." he said.
"On my sister's Birthday?" I asked
"She said it was alright." he answered.

Yeah.....my sisters birthday.
The news that the first plane to hit the towers took off from Logan airport in Boston was already out. The cell phone towers were maxed out. It took a while to get through to him. He was scheduled to come to NY by train. But luckily not that early. The train never left Boston.

Anna tried to get through to her parents in Calgary. It took a couple of hours. When she did. I heard her say to her father "I love you too." So there I was....... sitting with my girlfriend, experiencing the reality of this event and I realized "There has to be more to life than what I've done so far." My vision shifted dramatically. I was the closest I've ever been to my own mortality. "What will I leave behind when I have to go?"

Bottom line - Anna and I grew closer on that day and in the days to follow. Now we're married and we're working on our impact on the world.
We honor the victims and the first responders who gave the ultimate sacrifice. The soldiers who fight bravely - right now - for a foggy cause and most importantly............

We celebrate life. On my sisters birthday. The giving of life. The continuium of life. Our human condition and all appropriate emotions that are present.

B area only

2007-06-26T15:21:00.000-07:00

When I was between the ages of 12 & 16 , I took day trips to Hunter Mountain to ski. It's where I learned to ski. Each Sunday for that four year period my mom would wake me up around 4am and take me down to 57th Street & Sutton Place South to meet the bus. It was run by a company called Adventure Trails - A fine group, Jerry, Joel & "Brooksie". I would board the bus half dazed from the abrupt awakening to find a seat next to one of my fellow day trippers. A bus load of pre-pubescent kids on our way up to the mountain to get as many runs in as possible before the weekend drew to a close. The actual drives I can't remember; probably because I was asleep most of the time. But the skiing; those memories are vivid. One memory in particular is of the "test" Hunter Mountain introduced in my second year to determine what areas of the mountain we could ski.
"A test?" "Are you kidding me?" "We're like, a hundred miles away from school and it's Sunday for Pete's sake".
I couldn't believe it. Inside I froze like the fake snow that Hunter is famous for. Outside though I went with the flow of the group. Now, I didn't test well back then. I still don't. I remember cherishing every one of those free two hundred points you get for spelling your name right on the SAT's. I can remember feeling scared, nervous, "found out" and that the jig was up. I mean skiing is supposed to be fun, right? Not pressure oriented.
So as directed, the group went up the designated chairlift to the section of the mountain where the ski patrol set up this "test " area - Right under the main chairlift and just above the main lodge. Now I don't know what Hunter Mountain is like now, but back then on a Sunday it was kind of like Herald square on Christmas Eve. And that particular section was like the Macy's window - In full view of everybody. Hey, no pressure..........
So off I went, I had to execute three or four turns through the gates and at the bottom of the "test" site I would get issued a sticker for my lift ticket. I turned through each gate. I was pleased with myself. I did it. Or so I thought. I was directed to the right to get a bright fluorescent orange sticker that said "B area only".

"What?" "But I turned." "And I stopped" (snowplowed).

No explanation, no sympathies, just "B area only". All my friends got fluorescent green "All Area" stickers. The divide was made. I wasn't worthy of the "All Area" sticker and they all knew it. Oh, some of them took a few intermediate runs with me to start the day, but they didn't stick around. And that's how it went. At the end of the day we would all meet back at the bus and I would hear all about runs with names like "The K27" and "Hell Gate". I would tell them about my runs on "Rip Van Winkle" and "West Side Glide". I didn't stand a chance with the girls.

In spite of it all, I remained determined. I would get that All Area sticker next week. The next week came; B area only. The next week came; B area only. The next week; B area only. And so on and so on. I began to accept my fate and I found other B area onlys' to ski with. It was fun. But I always looked up at "Hell Gate" from the Rip Van Winkle chair and whispered to myself in that Sideshow Bob kind of way "Some day........"

Towards the end of ski season the weather warms up during the day and then drops at night so the runs freeze. In the morning there would be patchy ice - even on the "test" site. One thing about eastern skiing is the ice. It's everywhere. Rip Van Winkle had ice. I skied Rip Van Winkle all year. I knew every inch of that run. I knew how to ski the ice. On my second turn through the gate of the "test" site, I lifted my downhill ski to avoid a patch of ice. I hockey stopped in front of the ski patrol guy and he pointed me to the left.................

"Are you sure?" I said to him in my head. But I didn't hesitate. I went left to get the coveted green fluorescent "All Area" sticker. From that day forward I would ski on every run on that mountain.

And that's the way it goes for me to this day. When ever I set out on a new endeavor, I need to stumble through it upside down and ass backwards before I get some kind of clue about how it works for me. I'd say that about 10% of the time, I get lucky and get it "right" the first time, but then I'll need to go back and learn to build the foundation that I skipped over because of that luck. That's true for anything: Skiing, running, raising a puppy, coaching, acting, relationships (of all sorts), even understanding myself.

When I reach a point of satisfaction, accomplishment or joy in my adult life I reflect back on that moment on Hunter Mountain when I was granted "All Area". Sometimes when I'm caught in a struggle in my day to day, I mutter to myself "B area only, B area only". I know if i keep at it, I'll get that fluorescent green "All Area" sticker. I have it in a lot of my life. If I were to put florescent stickers on every compartment of my life I would have only a few orange "B area only" ones. But I'm still skiing. The lifts haven't closed yet. I'll get my chance on the "test" site so I can have "All Area" in all areas. How about you?

What Does It All Mean?

2007-06-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

So I'm coming home from the subway this afternoon. Beautiful day; I have my sunglasses on. This bug flys right onto my left lens and he's just sitting there. maybe he was wondering the same thing I was at that moment....."What the hell was that"?........So I take off my glasses to get the little bugger off. As he clung on to my finger, I saw it was one of those dwarf-like mini moth things.
I'm generally respectful of animal life (except roaches, mice, rats and the occasional bluefish or stripped bass) so I walk over to one of those tasteful Upper East Side Planters to give the little guy some indigenous surroundings. He kept crawling around my hand avoiding the inevitable departure. I wasn't in to playing host anymore. I kept presenting leaves and branches for him but he wouldn't leave. And I started to get all self conscious, what with being watched by the throngs of subway goers and Upper East Side personalities as they passed by me seemingly caressing a shrub.
Then I thought "Wait a minute". "Maybe this was meant to happen". "Maybe god in his infinite wisdom has orchestrated this tiny happenstance for me to see that in spite of all the complexities in my life there still exists simplicity". "Amid humanities greatest creations and achievements, still this earth provides life for a simple.....bug"
And then as I walked down the street with the little miracle cupped in my hand I thought ,"Here is this tiny life form living in the mayhem that is New York City. I mean this guy has no chance once he leaves Central Park". So in the scope of the universe I....we.....humanity... is equally insignificant. The power that each one of us has (which by the way is huge) is dwarfed by the power of a supernova or a black hole or even a tropical storm".
Maybe that was Gods intention. To illustrate to me by way of this tiny visitor that everything will even off at the end. Just forget about the eccentricities of other people. Don't worry about the details. Be in the moment. Be alive. Be happy darn it!!
I smiled. I gazed into my hand at the mini moth thing and wondered where I could deposit him. "Where would be the safest place?" "An honorable place to prolong the little buggers existance as much as possible".
Just then, with every ounce of spring-like energy that mother nature blessed him with, he shot up out of my hand, ricocheted off my front tooth and kamikaze-ed right down my throat. I was dumbfounded. What now? As I hobbled down my block, hacking from just swallowing a messenger from God. I thought "Maybe Freud was right. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar".
By the time I got in to my apartment I was a little put off that my ipod was running low on batteries.

Why me??

2007-05-31T08:41:00.001-07:00

Hello out there in blogland. Today's installment of robsblog asks the geocentric question, "Why me?" In some circles the answer is fired back - "Why not you"........Okay.
I guess in the end it really doesn't matter. Life is abundant no matter how I slice it.
....What's that? What am I talking about? Oh, well I sent out this newsletter yesterday at 6:00am informing my peeps of my appearance on Life Coach TV on June 4th. At 10:00 am I got a call from the casting department at One Life To Live. They want to book me for what day?......Wait for it.......not yet........okay, June 4th.

The answer was clear from the get-go, but as I hung up the phone, the question peculated in my head. Why me? It definitely a luxury problem, no doubt. I swung by the studio this morning to pick up the script. A moment to relish, by the way.

So the intention was set a few weeks ago for the newsletter.
"I want people to know what Momentum Coaching is doing" I said to myself
And myself answered back "How about putting together a newsletter"
"Great idea" I said to myself.
Anna says I got the cal from "One Life" because I let go of my desperate need to book a job as an actor when I set the intention to do the newsletter for Momentum Coaching.
I love my wife.
She said that as we were walking to the store to pick up our new kitchen table.
"Its the one I've been dreaming about" She said.
Who am I to stand in the way of my wife's dreams? Especially after such a quality insight into my life.
Bottom line:
I'm rescheduling my Life Coach TV appearance. Date, TBD
I'm reprising my role as the strong & sensitive EMT "Pell" on One Life To Live
We have a beautiful kitchen table
And The Yankees won last night

So why not me?

Cherry breaking blog

2007-05-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

I'm here!.................Hello?..............Is there anybody out there? This is my debut entry in my new blog. Glad to be here. Brrrrr, kinda cold in blogland. OK, bye!